What is Sensitivity

The unique art of sensitivity. It is a subject which you won’t find in a kickboxing gym or MMA class but it is essential to internal martial arts and in particular Systema. What is sensitivity you might ask? Well it is the ability to feel outside of oneself. Normally we are internal, repetitive thoughts and worries fill our everyday existence. We might interact with loved ones or friends and get a sense of what they are feeling. That is a type of sensitivity also. Some are better at it than others but what if the person you are faced with doesn’t want to talk. They aren’t the grab a beer kind of person and talk things through. That person mugging you might be scared and feel as vulnerable as you but to you it seems they have all the power. You feel violated and internal thoughts begin again, the analysis which must go through every possible angle before the satisfying answer is found. This is time consuming and doesn’t always help.

Internal martial arts have developed a fascinating approach to these situations, to empathise with your would be attacker. It doesn’t have to be in a mugging situation where the stakes could be severe. It could be your boss at work giving you a hard time, your partner finding every little thing wrong with you, your children refusing to eat their food. What these situations call for and very often do not get is empathy. How does the other person feel? Body language is a start but it might just rile you up. We often imitate others, it’s a basic social skill we all learn as infants. All babies learn through imitation, we find it cute. But when faced with an uncomfortable social situation at home, at work or anywhere else, imitation might not be helpful.

Your partner attacks you verbally, is it wise to imitate that? Probably not, but most of us do. Similarly, when someone means you physical harm there are levels of escalation. They might shove you in the chest, so you shove them back. They hit you in the face, ok they want a boxing match I throw one back. They pull a knife or a weapon on you, then you know what’s up. And what’s more, you don’t have a knife or weapon of your own. Suddenly imitation doesn’t seem like the greatest strategy. With each level of escalation you could imitate but when it comes to the ultimate stakes you have no answer to that. It is asymmetrical and you submit.

The role of sensitivity tells a different story, it doesn’t imitate, it just observes. In the scenario where you are having domestic issues, sensitivity says self awareness of yourself and others. How does the other affect you, you are feeling tense in the neck, pressure in the head. You breathe and try to relax off your neck, let go of the thoughts bubbling up in your head leading to an explosion. You breathe and just watch, you take it in, what does she want? Maybe she just wants to scream and shout, she thinks she’s telling you the reason but what you are observing is telling you a different story. Her actions are completely out of whack with her grievances. You start talking, how was your day? How is that project at work you are always worried about? You put feelers out, you try to get to the bottom of why they are really upset.

The same is with a more serious situation, let’s talk about the boxer, he talks with his fists. Ok there might have been a reason this initiated, there could have been some build up but whatever you said didn’t deescalate the situation. You put your hands on him gently with relaxation, you feel tension in his neck and shoulders, his balance and tension in his hips. You have to defend yourself but why do it his way. This is where sensitivity comes in, you are absorbing information through all the senses but touch gives the most information. He doesn’t feel it is threatening but you have closed in, within grappling range. He decides to grab you back, maybe he has some training. You gather the information, gather gather and relax into positions where you are stable and he is not. You haven’t hit him, you haven’t escalated the situation, you have a right to defend yourself. But you are doing it with sensitivity and it doesn’t feel threatening to them all the while giving you the information to stay safe. You won’t be going for any fancy moves but with correct movement you can stay safe until you have the opportunity to exit the situation. Maybe he gives up or he falls over. But after a while the emotion that drove him to attack will diminish because he doesn’t feel damage and it won’t feel worth it because whatever he does you have a non threatening answer. It’s a difficult subject to learn and goes against everything we are socialised to do in those situations. But it’s a worthwhile skill which fascinates me in my journey of Systema.